Desert Rat
by Thrawn7730
Summary: A crossover with Desert Punk, rated for language. hope you enjoy
1. Chapter 1, ed

Desert Rat

Ed slouched in a chair in front of the large wooden desk. His brother Al stood of to the side of the chair, not needing a chair. Al was an empty suit of armor, a soul bonded in blood to the steel and this body of his did not get tired. Ed and Al were inseparable, and on a mission to regain their bodies. A mission that was going to have to be put on hold because of what the man behind the desk was telling them.

"So I need you to head out west and see what you can do about this armed band of insurrectionists. Our military has trouble operating in that desert so the higher ups have been putting pressure on my to get out there, but I hate the heat and you owe me for cleaning up after all the messes you two have been making looking for the stone." Col. Mustang explained.

"Fine fine, so we just need to stop these guys from overthrowing the government, we got it." Ed said, his frustration clear in his voice. He stood up and began to walk out of the office, Al following.

"One more thing Fullmetal, my bosses hired a mercenary to help out with this, some expert that has earned the title Demon of the Desert, he is waiting for you at the station." Mustang said as a dismissal.

The two Elrics gathered some supplies and then walked to the train station. The two of them were common enough sights in the city that their strange appearance hardly raised an eyebrow any more. Al was the taller of the two despite being the younger brother, a fact that Ed took very personally; while Ed was shorter with blond hair braided down his neck. He dressed in all black with a big red over coat that hid his automail arm and leg, the price he paid for attempting human transmutation and sealing his brothers soul to his armor body. Ed began to wonder how they would spot this mercenary at the busy station.

"Brother I think I see him, over there on the platform and he isn't alone." Al said and pointed to a pair of figures wearing strange helmets and sunshades. The taller one wore a full-length brown cloak bleached by the sun, with the end of a shotgun visible below the edge of the clock. The smaller one's cloak did not reach to the waist, and a grenade launcher was slung around the shoulder. Ed went up and offered his hand saying, "You must be the help Col. Mustang offered."

"Yesh, what a shrimp, at least my apprentice has an excuse for being small fry, but your brother is huge so what is your story." The taller figure said. "I am Kanata but you can call me the Desert Punk, and the girl with the 40mm is Kosuna."

"Who are you calling smaller than small you crazy dressed freak," Ed exploded as Al held him back.

"HA you got some spirit I will give you that, and your brother is strong, maybe you two might survive the desert, though the big one might bake inside that armor," Punk said.

"Don't worry about me," Al said, "But I think we should talk on the train, its getting ready to leave." With that the boarded the train and began to head out to the great desert.


	2. Chapter 2

Introductions and Explanations

Once onboard the train the two mercenaries removed their helmets. Ed was surprised to see that the taller one, Kanta, was a black hair, average looking seventeen year old, whose only remarkable feature were his cold gray eyes. The younger one was a girl, about Al's age with very light red hair that could appear pink depending on the light. The both appeared very fit, life seemed to keep them in shape much like it did for Ed. Kanta appeared to be sizing up the brothers at the same time. Finally the train began moving, and Kanta glanced around the car. It was empty except for the group of four.

"All right," Kanta began to speak, "let me explain to you how this is going to work. Kosuna and I are part of a guild, which was contracted by your bosses to aid their agent, which would be you two. We are heading to the Kanto desert, a place which will in all likely hood kill you, even with our help. I have done a bit of research on our enemy; most of them are hired from the gangs that usually raid the Oasis towns. They are heartless bastards who could care less about the government or their dogs. As to why they are rebelling I have no clue. You two have anything to add?"

Ed stared, "What do you mean the desert will kill us? We have been through more than you can imagine…" Ed was silenced by his brother's hand.

" We might have an idea who is causing the trouble, but that doesn't make stop them easier. We can explain more but first what do you know about alchemy?" Al asked

"All I know is that it involves remaking matter, almost no one in the desert uses it. We tend to stick to the more traditional ways of killing each other, you know guns and grenades and such. The are almost no valuables out in the desert so the government in central could care less about us." Kosuna said, inserting herself into the conversation.

"You have the basics down, but alchemy can do much more," Ed responded. " It can also create artifical life, or a homunculus, and these are the ones that I suspect are behind the trouble." He held his chin in his hand, his deep in thought posture. Kanta caught a glimpse of the metal of Ed's automail wrist, and filed that information away for later. Ed continued, "Probably Lust, Gluttony, and Envy."

"What kind of names are those?" Kosuna asked at the same time as Kanta asked, "You got descriptions of those three?"

Ed smiled and said, "I don't know how they got the names, yet, but as for looks, Envy could be anyone, a master of disguise if you follow me. Gluttony is big bald fat man, and he hangs off of Lust, who is a tall rather beautiful woman with black hair." Ed displayed some crude drawings of the homunculi in question.

In Kanta's mind all he noticed was the size of Lust's bust. "What huge knockers, I mean I know this is this shrimp's crude drawing but seriously she looks like she could even be bigger than Junko's. I know she is the enemy but serious what knockers, maybe I can offer to keep her prisoner..." Kanta's mind began to dive deeper in to muddier waters that are best left unwritten.

Meanwhile Ed's height complex began to tinkle at Kanta's unspoken slight at his height. Al and Kosuna exchanged a look that said this might become a regular thing for them, keeping their respective elders from killing one another.

And all this before they even reach the desert, how will these people survive when they have no idea what they are doing….?


	3. Chapter 3

A Warm Welcome

The train had pulled out of the second to last stop an hour ago, leaving Ed, Al, Kanta, and Kosuna as the only passengers left on the train. Ed and Al were talking of by themselves, but both Kosuna and Kanta were nervous. The train was a big target, and depending on the enemy's intel they could be attacked at any minute. As the minutes and dunes rolled by the nervous feeling kept growing. They both put their helmets back on and began checking their weapons.

"What? Are the big, brave mercs nervous?" Ed teased, "There is nothing out there. And anyway what is with those helmets, you two look ridiculous." He began to laugh but it was cut short when the front of the train exploded.

"Shit, Kosuna grab what ever supplies you can and find some cover! You two idiots get behind me and keep your heads down! Man, I don't need this, I only have supplies for two people for three days and its at least a five day walk to the nearest town. This is going to cost extra." Kanta got the situation in order and cocked his shot gun and ran out of the train car, taking cover behind some debris. The enemy was firing from the top of a dune, normally a good position but meaning less against the demon of the desert. Kanta began preparing his decoys and saw that Kosuna had four packs and a good firing solution with her 40mm launcher. He turned his head to look for his "allies" and saw the dumbest thing he had every seen anyone do.

Ed was behind all as they charged up the dune. Bullets pinged off of Al's armor while Ed clapped his hands together to prepare an alchemic attack. He was aware that the jerk that was supposed to be helping him was yelling something at him while letting lose with a shotgun but he was much busier. Light traced over the sand as the molecules began to rearrange themselves into something much harder. A group of rebels, wearing brown uniforms shouted in alarm as a giant fist slammed into them. The remaining rebels, distracted by Ed's alchemy became easy targets for the two desert mercenaries. Shotgun shells and grenades began taking out rebels. Seeing that their targets had regrouped with force, the remaining rebels began a retreat, boarding a supply truck stolen earlier. As quickly as the attack began, it was over. What had once been a working train was now a burning pile of bullet-ridden wood.

"Well, I have to say, that was pretty impressive half pint, but now we have a 5 day hike through the desert with only enough supplies for 3 days, and two people at that. Any suggestions?" Kanta asked.

"Who are you calling half-pint.." Ed mumbled, and then began to weigh some options. He decided to play it even with them. "Well we only have three people to feed, show them Al."

Al nodded and then lifted up his helmet to show them the inside of his armor. It was empty.

"Holy shit, what the hell are you? A ghost? A demon?" Kosuna stammered, backing away from Al. Kanta kept his reaction private but he was just as surprised. His mind was still working through the possibilities when Al began to explain.

"I am still a 14 year boy, just in a different body. My brother and I did something forbidden and this is part of the price we paid. I want to get my body back, but right now this body may help us stay alive, since I don't need to eat or drink."

"Hmm, well that helps, and you won't bake but your smaller half might. Here," Kanta said as he tossed a spare fun shade and scarf to Ed, "Lets get moving, and no more talking unless you want to have deep fried lungs. We can talk at night."


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey, sorry for the long delay, but college can be a jerk towards free time. I hope you guys stick around, as I am planning big things for this series. Please read and review or I might not keep going.**

Arrival

Ed decided he hated the desert and everything to do with it. The heat, the dryness, and most of all the company, the two mercenaries. Why had Mustang saddled him with these two… the man was a complete pervert and generally unlikable person, and yet the girl worshiped the ground he walked on. At least Al was the same old reliable companion as always.

The four had been hiking for two days now. Since the attack on the train few words had been spoken between the two pairs of partners, as there was simply nothing to say. Progress had been better than expected and that made Kanta very suspious, in fact he had been on edge for the last hour. Kosuna picked up on this and readied her sub-machine gun. Al noticed this and asked, "what's going on?"

Kanta said, "Something's up. This close the oasis we should be seeing some traffic, a supply truck or a patrol. I hate this cliché but it is just too damn quiet. You too get ready and call out if you see anything. I am talking to the big shell mainly, as the short one can't see over the next dune." Kanta knew enough to dig at Ed's weakness, as you never knew when that sort of thing came in handy. He was used to betrayal.

For the next forty minutes there was nothing, then Kanta saw something the he dismissed as a mirage, a woman wearing a strapless dress and long gloves, which was awesome, but not the thing one expects to see in the sun and the temperature hot enough that the devil would have his air conditioning on. The other clue was that her breasts were big and better than Junko's, which just wasn't possible. Kanta stopped and ready his weapon. "Yo, Ed is she…."

"Yea, that's Lust, and is she is here than Gluttony is not far either. This is not good, she is virtually indestructible and a skilled fighter. You two better let Al and I handle this."

"Fat chance. I was hired to keep you two alive and I always finish my jobs. Kosuna, you know the drill, Al, grab your shrimp of a bother and find cover. Keep your eye on me and you might learn something."

Kanta vs Lust, will he break her with his manliness…. Find out next time.


	5. Chapter 5

Cold Soul vs Hot Boobs

Kanta prepped himself for a fight. He had a flash-bang round chambered and he brought up his trusted shotgun, all he had left from his father. He double check and saw that the tin can had his brother under control and Kosuna was in position. He fired and then deployed his first balloon decoy; his classic tactic which he used to relocate and gain an advantage over his foe. Lust winced, the light of the flare and the roar of the powder of the shell. She was expecting Fullmetal, not this nobody. He must be an amateur, he was just standing there, probably dumbstruck at the speed she was rushing him. Her fingers stretched into spears and she struck a killing blow… to a balloon. "What is this?" Lust exclaimed. She bent to examine the remains of the balloon and noticed a thin wire leading to a set of activated explosives.

Kanta watched as the enemy was engulfed in flames and thrown back fifty feet. He didn't think she was down, not yet, and sure enough she started to get up. What ever the hell she was she was tough… and hot, but Kanta was focused. His pay and reputation depended on this and not even massive tits would stop him. He began firing off some 16mm grenade shells and each impact tore away at Lust's flesh. She was taking a lot of hits but not going down. _This is bad_, Kanta thought, _only have so much ammo and this bitch is eating to much of it_. He kept up the pressure while Kosuna line up her shot.

Lust was getting pissed. _Who was this guy? I can't seem to get close enough to attack and I am taking a lot of damage. Where the hell is he? And where is Gluttony? I can't take much more of this._ She finally located Punk and was about to move in on him when Kosuna took her shot. A 40mm grenade with an enhance load slammed into Lust's back and she staggered. She looked around, trying to see where that hit came from when the shelling from Kanta began again. Lust finally decided to retreat, "Who is that man? He is like no one I have fought before."

Ed stared in disbelief, "How did he do that? I fought her and she nearly killed me yet those two made it look easy. Al?"

"I don't know brother, but maybe that is why the Colonel hired them. I think we should listen to them more, if they are this strong. Plus this is there home turf." Al said

Next time… Ed learns more about Kanta than anyone really needs to, Al and Kosuna have a date, and Junko makes an appearance. Yay boobs


End file.
